I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
