I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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