So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
