I hate your face
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Randomize
