Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
only you would photoshop your dick
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
