then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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