OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
