i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
