oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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