Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
