Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
