Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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