The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
