do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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