What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize