talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize