Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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