Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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