marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
