Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
