Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
