just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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