he wants to bone in the snuggie
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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