i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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