What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
