are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
