I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
