wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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