As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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