It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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