Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
mondays should just be called national damage control day
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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