If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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