the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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