She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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