Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
did i walk over a car last night?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
