Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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