You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I came so hard my ears popped.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
