it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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