my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I AM VODKA MAN
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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