I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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