You're so nebulous sometimes
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
