is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
