How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
