It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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