we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
