But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I wanna bring you to show and tell
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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