Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
