i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
