Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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