so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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