I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
