She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
The feeling are messing with the penis
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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