would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Barsexuality is the new black.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
