When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
