i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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