mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
i think i just lost a toe
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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