the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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