What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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